If You Only Knew
by v0lauvent
Summary: During the Tekken Force's rebellion against the Zaibatsu, Tougou finds himself feeling more than just friendship towards his long time friend and Captain, Lars. After confessing his feelings, things not only get complicated, but dangerous as well. YAOI
1. Chapter 1: To Bare All

_A/N: There aren't enough stories out there about Tougou, so I decided to write one up. Also thanks to the encouragement of some friends of mine XD You all know who you are! Anyway, enjoy :3_

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Chapter 1

The Mishima Zaibatsu's forces had ramified across the globe, oppressing nations and civilizations who lacked the strength to defend their countries. Thanks to the global war, and the world's losing battle, the Tekken Force had assumed control of a large share of the earth in a mere few months.

To those blind to the Zaibatsu's crimes this was frightening, and to others the result of their immense power was all too familiar.

As Jin and his mighty army gradually consumed the world in chaos and anguish, hope seemed lost. Take-overs became easier and easier as the days ticked by. Jin could have been reveling in his throne chair, watching victoriously as his new nation grew in power and numbers, that was if a portion of it hadn't broken off in rebellion. The coup being orchestrated by the Tekken Force's now former Captain, Lars Alexandersson.

The army's activities contradicted with his morals. Taking innocent lives and oppressing them just for the sake of power? That wasn't what Lars was after, and the only way he would let this come to be and flourish was over his dead body.

Several years ago, Lars had heard of an incident involving a mythological being that went by the name of Ogre, or Toshin back in Japan. The locals deemed him as an Aztec god that came down from the heavens, wreaking havoc on the people. Lars usually disregarded such folklore, however upon discovering that this Ogre had existed and that Jin himself had come into contact with it, his mind was quickly convinced.

The Zaibatsu had an outpost stationed at this location. From what he had heard, their goal was to wipe every bit of evidence involving the creature. While Lars was somewhat in favor of erasing such a beast, the Zaibatsu's method of destruction was to burn down and force out anyone living in the villages populating the temple land.

Lars had sent his army down to South America to defend and hopefully salvage the village. By the time they arrived, the Zaibatsu had already burnt down a portion of the forests. Fortunately the rebels had managed to force them back for now; all was quiet, though Lars was sure Jin would be sending reinforcements in due time.

The villagers had been kind enough to lend Lars and his troops some of their land to set up camp. Having a base close to the area of operations made everything much easier for both parties. They would be there for a few weeks at the most, until Jin's interest in the location wavered.

"Perimeter is secure." Tougou, a tall Japanese man with short raven hair, and a groomed beard of the same shade passed underneath the tent flap. He was Lars' Lieutenant through the entire coup d'état and also his closest friend. Wherever the Swede went his comrade usually wasn't far behind.

Anyone inside or even out of their army knew the Captain and Lieutenant were close, they had a long history together and their friendship grew because of it. They saved each other's lives more times than either could count, went through hell and back together even. No matter how much either complained about doing errands and such for the other, or even joked about it, really they'd do anything for each other...

Tougou especially.

There were times where the Japanese soldier asked his companion what he thought of their friendship. Lars would answer with everything a friend would want to hear, how much he valued Tougou, more than just him being his Lieutenant and the like. Tougou would smile and give a devoid nod in agreement. Yes, that was exactly what a _friend_ would want to hear, but not a lover.

If only Lars knew...

Tougou had a smirk on his face as he set his sheathed machete down against one of the metal poles supporting the tent, eying the Captain accompanying him in the military shelter.

Without deterring his attention from the computer screen before him, the Swede lifted his hand away from the keyboard and held it out towards Tougou with wiggling fingers, as though he was asking something of him.

"Oh." Tougou pinched the bridge of his nose, "I forgot. I'll go do that right now."

He was so busy making sure everything was in order in the event of an attack that the task Lars had given him slipped his mind.

Lars finally turned in his chair to face his Lieutenant, "Do that in a moment, I want to show you something." He waved his friend over to the table side and scooted the laptop so he could see clearly.

Tougou made his way over and hovered the Captain's shoulder, examining the computer. There was a map that took up the entire screen, some of which was highlighted in red, while the rest remained untouched, "Looks like they occupied a lot less territory than we anticipated."

They had chosen a good place for their encampment as well. If the Zaibatsu ever made a move, they had enough time to intercept them or contend if that was the case.

"They were probably just moving through the jungle when we saw them then..." Tougou mumbled to himself mostly, yet Lars nodded his head anyway.

"With that said," Lars leaned back in the chair to stretch his arms out, his stomach was growling from being deprived of nourishment for over an hour, "Now you can go fetch that food I asked you for, I'm starving!"

"Right, my fault." Tougou snickered, "Why don't I go grab you something the locals cooked up huh? Fried monkey and ant soup perhaps?"

"That's disgusting. Not enough to wane my appetite though." Lars pulled a face in repulsion, laughing at his joke regardless, "Also an insult to the kind people who lent us this land. Have some respect will you?"

"What ever you say Captain." Tougou gave a mock salute then was off on his way to get them something to eat.

It didn't take long for Tougou to return to their working tent with rations and some fresh fruit the locals had afforded. By now Lars had relocated from the table he was working on prior to Tougou's departure, to one of the cots. He dismissed the screen to see what was being brought in.

His eyebrows knit together, what was seen wasn't what Tougou had 'promised'.

"After thinking it over ant soup sounded delicious..." Lars took his share of the fruit and set it aside after thanking the other man, "Guess you couldn't find any?"

"Sorry to disappoint you." Tougou shrugged his shoulders. He took a seat across from Lars so that he could eat as well.

The half Swedish Captain rummaged through their supply bag for a knife, once found he used it to peel the inedible skin from the mango he was given. He couldn't help but notice that something seemed to be disturbing Tougou, he could tell by the distant expression he bore.

"You know you do that every night?" Lars lowered the knife down from the fruit, "What's the matter? Every time I ask you say you're fine."

Tougou dismissed the question with a wave of his hand, "Nothing to be concerned about..." He took a bite from his orange to fill his mouth with rather than speaking. When Lars stood and waited for him to swallow, his entire scheme of silencing himself was balked. He was going in for another bite anyway, though Lars' hand was set on his wrist to challenge his resistance.

A frustrated sigh came from Tougou, he proceeded to stood so they could have a proper talk, "Lars, you told me yourself there were some things about you that you preferred not to share with me. That's mutual right now."

Lars rose a skeptical brow, "And that's utter bullshit."

Tougou was taken aback by Lars' reply. The Swede went on to explain himself, "I have a valid reason for not telling you, but in your case I know it's not something that could potentially abolish any trust this army has in me, or in you."

Lars made it a point not to tell anyone of his origins, that included his father and the family he belonged to. Any one of them hearing that he was related to Jin and the rest of that godforsaken clan could leave his army in shambles.

"And how can you be so sure?" Tougou retorted, "If what you're hiding could affect the army's trust, you don't trust me enough to tell me?"

Tougou was trying to avoid his end of the question by putting Lars on the spot. While this did make the Captain ponder, he shook his head in defiance and routed the conversation's focus back on his friend.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Tougou. That aside, what's your reason for not telling me then? If you don't think mine is good enough maybe_ yours _is." Lars chided, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tougou mentally cursed himself. He couldn't really give Lars an answer could he? Give him an answer and jeopardize the entire mission if he reacted badly to it? Throw away all those hard-earned years of friendship? Hell no.

Though there was always a 50/50 chance with these sorts of things...

While the Japanese man was busy having an internal conflict with himself, his eyes were adamantly staring back into Lars' blue ones, which were awaiting an answer in patience.

"Can't seem to think one up..." Lars finally said, about to take a step back to the cot until Tougou seized his arm, "Or not..?"

Tougou closed the gap between them, drawing Lars in by the limb in his vice. The Swede wanted to be thankful of the armor on their chests preventing Tougou from bringing him in any nearer, invading his personal space. Lars inhaled to get a word in, only to be shut up by a blatant kiss on the Lieutenant's end. Lars' eyes grew to an ample size while his brain attempted to process what the hell was happening.

Tougou was kissing him?

His eyes had fluttered closed on instinct, resorting to his sense of touch alone, as he felt betrayed by his eyes. He still couldn't comprehend or believe, though the warm mouth advancing on his own was undeniable. As disconcerted as he was, Lars couldn't bring himself to pull away.

His emotions wreathed into a tight and complex knot; despite the violent sea of sentiments, Lars' lips made a decision long before his belated mind had, opting to reciprocate the Lieutenant's kiss.

Sensing something was off, Lars shoved Tougou off of him abruptly, and reclaimed the air that had been sucked out of his lungs with a ragged breath. Tougou stood his ground in frozen silence, waiting for Lars to make any sort of comment, but none came. He wasn't even looking at him anymore...


	2. Chapter 2: An Analogy

Chapter 2

Lars had lost interest in Tougou, simply because the front of the tent provided something more attention grabbing.

Outside of their shelter stood a rather astounded soldier, holding a booklet of notes, with eyes large as saucers. Unbeknownst to the two men, he had come around to deliver news of the Zaibatsu's progress, only to come across their little scene.

Tougou was prepared to explain himself, but Lars had resorted to a more primal method: by whacking the militant over the head with his Lieutenant's machete—sheath and all.

"Lars..!" Tougou stood awestruck, watching as the clouted soldier toppled down onto the dirt under his feet, knocked out cold. He was quick to step back when Lars set to come at him next.

"What were you thinking!" The Swede gripped the hilt of the weapon so tightly his knuckles had gone pale underneath his gloves. The Japanese other lifted his hands up in defense.

"You got what you asked for."

Flustered, Lars dropped the machete, only to elbow Tougou in the chest instead. If it wasn't for his protective chest plate, it would have bruised...Or worse considering his strength.

"I never asked you to kiss me!" The half Swede retorted, uttering a noise of disapproval when his friend started to laugh, despite the aching strike to the chest.

Lars had gone over to untie the thread holding the tent open; now he was beginning to wonder if they needed privacy too, in case Tougou felt like jumping him again.

"You're only this worked up because you enjoyed it." Lars was taken aback by Tougou's reply, his eyes widened some. He brought the back of his hand to his lips, running them over the synthetic material to play off the shade of red that decorated his cheeks.

"Why did you hit him?" Tougou motioned his head in the direction of the now wounded soldier.

A curt laugh rose from Lars' throat. He leered on at Tougou, in awe at how naive he was, "Do you have any idea what you just did?" When that soldier woke up, he was going to go around telling the whole army what he had seen. They'd get a kick out of hearing that their commanding officers were making out in their tent!

Tougou nodded his head in answer. He was confident in what had transpired, knew well of it too; what Lars wanted him to be aware of however were the consequences. Tougou knew of those too, yet paid no mind to them.

He took a step forward and Lars took a step back, an avoidance mostly for the sake of his fuddled mind. He didn't want Tougou touching him, he didn't want to see him or even hear him anymore. Ultimately he didn't want to be around him.

"The reason why I was keeping this close to my chest was because I didn't want it screwing up our friendship. But...I told myself if I didn't at least attempt to express how I felt, the opportunity would leave me. You know I'm not the kind of man that thinks of the what ifs in my life..." Tougou elaborated on his actions, regardless if Lars was listening to him or not.

He advanced forth again, alleviated when Lars finally stopped moving away. The younger soldier had chosen a corner of the tent to focus his eyes on rather than Tougou, though they couldn't help but be drawn back to his face upon feeling a set of fingers run through his light hair. The touch both calmed and discomforted him all at once.

Lars knew better than to mix his personal and professional life. All that came with that was distress and confusion. Their current situation was an example and product of that. Though...If he was so opposed to Tougou having any feelings for him, why the hell hadn't he just walked out yet? As much as he denied it himself, Lars felt the same as his Lieutenant, save for the oath of refraining from displaying any sort of affection.

As though Tougou could read his mind, he voiced what he had only pondered a moment before, "If you didn't feel the same way you would have left by now, I know you."

Lars' head drooped, his pursed lips still had a slight tingle to them from the kiss, "...This never happened." Times like these were when he preferred to just forget it and move on. He really just wanted this conversation to be over, go back to the way they used to be...

"This isn't just something you can erase from yourself, Lars," Tougou's brows knit together, "You're just going to pretend he never saw anything too then?" He was referring to the unconscious soldier.

"YES!" The Swede's head snapped back up, his voice rattling Tougou's bones, "Why did you have to make everything so complicated! I happened to be very comfortable with how things were before-!"

"And I wasn't..!" Tougou interjected.

Lars paused briefly to consider Tougou's words, then continued, "...I can't look at you the same now."

"You've been looking at me differently for years now. It's only now that I kissed you that you're forced to make a decision, and you're only confusing yourself."

Lars hated how true that was, how true everything Tougou was saying was. Maybe in some other whimsical world they could be together, be as affectionate as they wanted to be, enjoy each other's company like any other couple. That was so bitterly far from reality.

"I don't need to remind you that we're in the military Tougou." That was Lars' closing sentence to the conversation.

While Lars hadn't given Tougou a clear explanation of how he felt, he espied it well in his eyes, that was enough to keep the smile on his face.

"You're just playing hard to get." The Japanese man commented. Lars ignored this and got his hands underneath the arms of the unconscious bystander.

"Help me with this."

Tougou came around with one nod of his head, taking hold of the soldiers' boots to help Lars lift him, "Where do we put him?"

"We're going to ship him off back to Japan, saying that he's mentally unstable. He's been fabricating claims his entire stay here...War stress..." As crazy as the plan sounded, Lars was being absolutely serious, even with the roll of his eyes.

"W-what? So the reason you hit him over the head is because you don't want anyone finding out about that kiss?" Tougou carped. Lars chose not to give him an answer.

By the end of the week, Lars had done exactly as he had said, shipped the poor soldier back home with a false claim of illness tagged to him. He was the Captain of this army, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with it, there were no court martials or accusations for him to worry about in the end. He wasn't the type to do this to his troops, but right now he was far from himself, and this was his mindset.

Days had taken on a cruel routine of Lars speaking to Tougou as his Lieutenant, like he said, he just wanted to forget about it. He had receded the moment so far back in his memory it really was as though it had never happened, Tougou however remembered vividly.

During the night, Lars would usually keep to himself in his cot, with Tougou on the far end of the tent. He of course would glance over every now and again, only to be greeted by the same form that was the Swede's back. Tonight was no different, though this time the Japanese Lieutenant grew tired of their lack of conversation.

"Lars..?" The deep voice sliced through the hushed night air, enough to evoke a small, yet visibly waking twitch from the man being called to. The bars keeping the cot off the floor creaked and whined while Lars got settled again, pulling the blanket over his head as though he hadn't heard a thing.

"...Tougou..." Lars groaned, his voice groggy, "Do you know what time it is..."

Tougou retreated from his cot and moved across the tent to sit on the edge of Lars'. The shift in weight made Lars tug the blanket off his head and stare at his friend with exhausted eyes.

"I don't care what you said about forgetting..." The Lieutenant sighed despondently, "Just give me a chance at least..."

Lars fussed over his fatigue, "...You woke me up at three in the morning to tell me that..."

"It's hard to sleep when you're the only thing I can think about, and you don't even give me the time of day when we're alone." Tougou confessed, he hadn't gotten much sleep lately, "At least tell me how you feel about all this, that'll put me at ease."

Lars draped one of his arms over his eyes, taking in a heavy breath to wake himself up. He wanted him to make a coherent explanation at this time in the morning?

"You know I can't afford to put my position on the line..." Lars lifted the limb off his face to look at Tougou, "Despite being good soldiers and people in general, a number of our troops are ignorant or caught up in the old ways."

The Captain sat up so that he could speak better. He gave his head a light scratch, "I don't think you're really aware of what this..." He exhaled, at a loss as to what to call what they had, "...This _thing _between us could do to the army. Do you think they'll still be willing to follow us when they find out their commanding officers happen to be in a relationship? Of the same sex even? Not everyone is open to that sort of thing, a lot of them are disgusted...Especially in the military. Not only that but it'll make them uncomfortable. I'm not about to take something we worked so hard on and throw it out the window for a relationship. This war is a lot more than just you and me."

"So whenever you discover something about yourself that compromises your army, you just shove it down some deep dark hole, don't you?" Tougou alleged, "First you're hiding something from me and now this? How much more do you have to hide Lars? I'm beginning to wonder if you really are the same man I think you are."

"And I didn't think you were so naive," Lars spat, his eyes narrowing into a forbidding gaze, "I already told you I don't mix my personal and professional lives. This isn't the place or the time for this, yet you still don't seem to get that."

"Then what is a good time and place, Lars? When are we not soldiers? The military doesn't have to be our only lives!" There were no rest days, no personal time, no pauses in war. They were full time rebels fighting against an army that outnumbered them by thousands, "Even back in Japan you're just as busy, you command an entire army for god sakes. I'm just as occupied most of the time."

"There really is no good time or place."

"The Zaibatsu has your head up as a bounty. What if you end up dead, what if I end up dead? Then what?" Tougou couldn't help but feel like the day was drawing nearer, when there would be a time where they would no longer see each other.

"You're not going to die." Lars spoke through his teeth in an indignant tone, offended by the statement.

"What makes you so sure?"

"I won't let you die!" Lars rose his voice, "You're still standing here because you know how to survive, you know how to fight for your life! The times you were hurt I was there keeping you alive, and you've done the same for me! You're not going to die!"

After everything Lars had to say, Tougou had completed his analysis of his friend, "You're so impeccable at your job, because that's the only thing you do. You chose to occupy yourself with work, refuse to let anyone love you, and deny yourself from feeling love for someone else too. You know why? Because you're so worried about how homophobic the military is."

Lars sank back, his expression speaking volumes. Tougou had gotten it spot on hadn't he?

"Tell me if I'm wrong..?"

"...This is making you sound so desperate..." Lars was avoiding the question, but Tougou got him back on track.

"Answer me."

The Swede shut his eyes momentarily, exhaling long through his nose, "Got me all figured out, huh?"

"I knew it..." Tougou grinned, the back of his hand pat Lars' chest, "Some lion you are, you're just one big scaredy cat."

"Excuse me?"

"Or do you prefer chicken? You told me you weren't afraid of anything." Tougou mocked. Lars had leaned forward in a challenging manner, resenting the comment.

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid to show that you have feelings for me..!" Tougou continued to egg him on. From the looks of it, it seemed to be working too.

"Ugh," Lars grunted, "You're so childish!"

Tougou could only laugh. While he usually did tease Lars like this in other ways, tonight was exceptionally more fun, "Ah! See there it is, you won't even admit you're afraid!"

"I never said I was afraid..!"

"Prove it then?" Tougou crossed his muscular arms over his chest, his brow raising in expectancy.

"Tch." Lars took his eyes off Tougou, "Go back to sleep you crazy bastard."

"It's after three, nobody's going to walk in here." Tougou finally gave the playful mood a rest, trying to reassure Lars rather than tease him, "Lars, even if it's only tonight, or even just five minutes. If you won't, at least let me..?"

He wanted to show him it was okay and that nothing was going to happen to them because of it. What Lars saw as naivety, Tougou saw as opportunity. It wasn't like they were going to be blatantly public about it, if that was what Lars was worried about?

"I respect your wishes and concerns, you know that. I haven't brought any of this out to prying eyes and ears, that one soldier just walked in at a bad time." Tougou reached out to touch the other soldier, his thumb tracing along his cheek.

"What if it does get out, Tougou? This seems so selfish to me."

"Then be selfish for one night, will you? Relax!" Tougou smiled, his hand had moved back into the Swede hair now, caressing his scalp.

There was a silence between them as the Japanese soldier awaited an answer; his heart fluttered in his chest upon seeing the small nod of Lars' head. Tougou dipped forward to give the Swede's lips a brief yet appreciative kiss, and was pleasantly surprised when Lars pulled him back for another, extending the gesture for a moment longer.


	3. Chapter 3: Acceptance

Chapter 3: Acceptance

The rebel soldiers advanced through the bush, staying as stealthy as they possibly could collectively. A crowd of men armed with rifles and explosives clanking against their uniforms weren't exactly mice in an old country home.

They were up bright and early with hopes that they could ambush the final Zaibatsu camp. The other four were difficult to take down, but with the amount of soldiers dwindling, Lars felt this round would be much easier. The time also gave them the advantage, with night squads just turning in, the enemy soldiers would wake up to the barrels of guns rather than a clear morning sky.

It had taken them more time than estimated to make it this far, about four weeks or more. Keeping track of time was difficult out here, considering the lack of electricity and such causing inaccuracies.

Tougou was very much at ease now. On the field he and Lars were no longer tense around each other after their chat. While the Japanese Lieutenant gave Lars the space he asked for while they were around their troops, he'd flash the Swede the affectionate smile when he happened to look over at him, elated when Lars would return the gesture.

They had been holding the same position for about an hour now, waiting for the right moment to strike. Their usual red armor made them stick out like sore thumbs in the predominantly green jungle, which was why the small army opted to wear a more subtle uniform this operation: camouflage.

Tougou's trigger finger was itching to fire; those Zaibatsu bastards knew no limits when it came to damaging civilizations. It was days like these where he found it hard to swallow how they had all been on the enemy side once, the ones causing all this torment and destruction. It was as though he was insulting a part of himself; by calling these opposing soldiers bastards, he too called himself this. Where you come from will always be a part of you after all, even the armor on his back was rightfully Zaibatsu property.

He found it mostly hard to believe how someone as kind-hearted as Lars had done such things as well. Ruining families, taking innocent lives, and generally just killed without mercy. Tougou couldn't say he himself had been the kindest of people before, back in his Zaibatsu days he actually took pleasure in wounding his enemies, having been indoctrinated by Heihachi's lies of course. He felt brainwashed—for the lack of a better term.

The raven-haired man swatted at a mosquito buzzing around his face. The insects had been bugging him the entire trek. He had no idea how Lars managed to stay as still as the leaves under his feet, the only movement coming from the blinking of his eyes. No flinch when the mosquitoes buzzed around him, no flinch when the monkeys cooed, he didn't even flinch when some large exotic spider found refuge on his back at one point. Tougou wondered if he was even breathing.

Though, the boredom eventually got to him and he found himself examining the Captain a little more than he should have. His eyes perused Lars' younger features, gradually dipping his gaze along his body as he did so, starting with his back. The muscles there were prominent, almost chisel-like, carving through the dark material of his uniform. His sleeves were tight to his biceps, his arm poised and focused as he held his rifle to his side. As Tougou's eyes darted down lower, Lars finally moved, the signal he had given the other soldiers spoiling the Japanese man's private show.

The surrounding soldiers retreated from the bushes and crept into Zaibatsu territory. Tougou switched the safety off his rifle, satisfied to know that soon he would be able to shoot something with it. His mind was focused on the task at hand now, his typical program while they were in combat. There was no room for mistakes or error, for even the smallest slip-up could cost him his life.

The first enemy soldier had fallen in his sleep, taking a single bullet to the skull and waking up the others in the process thanks to the noise. The camp soon erupted into a frenzy, with soldiers on both ends initiating and returning fire.

Lars preferred not to use his rifle unless his life depended on it. He was making great progress with his hands alone, snapping necks or using his legs to kick in spines. Tougou was both irked and impressed by how well the Captain could kill, with or without a weapon. Needless to say, he was always armed.

Tougou and his team were instructed to stay put in case any stragglers tried to escape—look out duty so to speak. He had only lifted his rifle a few times to fire, killing or wounding any fleeing soldiers. If his shot didn't do the job, someone else did.

He wasn't one to go against orders, but when he saw an ammo-less Zaibatsu soldier reach over to his belt to retrieve a grenade, he watched in horror as the explosive was sent in his comrades' direction, mainly Lars'. The aforementioned man was too busy defending against one of the larger officers to notice; if he didn't move by the time that grenade landed, he'd be caught in the blast.

"Lars!" Tougou called out, bolting towards him with his rifle close to his chest; a risky move, but a necessary one in his eyes.

Lars forced his opponent backwards with a push of his arms, he used the shard of time he had to glance over his shoulder, and caught Tougou heading his way. Before he could react or even speak, Tougou tackled him down into a ditch only a moment before the grenade exploded. The boom rung through the ears of the two men, temporarily deafening them, then gracing them with the sound of an annoying buzz as their hearing recovered.

He hoped Lars appreciated having the wind knocked out of him, rather than being blown into bloody ribbons.

Chunks of dirt, grass and even clothing hailed above them, pelting them like fattened raindrops. Lars grunted after landing on a fist sized rock on his way down; with Tougou's weight upon his own, no doubt it would bruise. Once the smoke cleared and he could see his friend again, the Swede thanked him with a simple pat to his back.

Tougou lifted himself off the Captain, his face dirty from the fall, "Still in one piece?"

Lars nodded his head, sitting up as well, "Yeah I'm fine. Thanks." He waved his hand in front of him to disperse any remaining smoke particles.

The two climbed back up to the head of the ditch to see the damage. The tent that was stationed there before was blown to bits, bodies were strewn out on the dirt, as well as empty shells. Some Zaibatsu soldiers managed to retreat via jeep, while the remaining ones were picked off by rebel forces. That grenade had taken care of a large amount of men from both sides.

"Obviously he wasn't thinking when he threw that..." Lars gazed upon the dead Zaibatsu soldiers.

"Or he just wanted you dead?" Tougou couldn't help but feel it was meant for Lars, the throw was far too precise, "Whenever you're among the attacking forces, it's like the Zaibatsu panics and tries to throw and blast every explosive they can in your direction. Don't even get me started on the rockets."

Lars smirked, "Because they know what they're dealing with."

Being the youngest Captain on the force back at the Zaibatsu, Tougou found it ironic how he was the most formidable. Experience made you formidable, not necessarily talent. The other Captains had years upon years of that under their belts, then along came Alexandersson...

Having been in the military a couple years longer than Lars, Tougou was of course a bit offended at first when a greenhorn soldier was being promoted faster than he was. Before they became friends, he would often try to secretly compete with Lars, only to come up short. Not that they didn't compete on friendly terms now, it was just the way Lars moved sometimes, how he acted...It was almost inhuman.

It reminded him of someone, though he couldn't place a name to his thoughts.

It was unreal how quickly he progressed up the ranks, unreal how many times he had narrowly escaped death. There were times where Tougou had seen him sustain injuries or be put into situations that would normally kill a man, yet he came out unscathed. How was that even possible? Not even the most trained militant could survive being in the middle of an explosion.

Somehow though, despite all this, Tougou wanted to make sure he was safe. Protect him even. With that grenade going off earlier, what were the chances of Lars surviving that like all the other explosions he had survived? Had he not taken note of the explosive because he knew it would do little to no damage?

Having accomplished part of their mission, he had been pondering this the entire flight back to Japan, finally asking him in the base halls on the way back to their rooms.

"How do you do it..?" Tougou mumbled. He was thinking out loud, his familiar habit, though Lars answered him with a question of his own.

"How do I do what?"

"It's like you're indestructible..."

Lars chuckled, "I'm not. Just...Lucky I guess..." His voice trailed off, this made Tougou wonder what he was pondering on.

They made it to their rooms for the night. Tougou chose to accompany Lars in his to make sure he was alright. He had never been so happy to sleep in a real bed again, as opposed to those cots they had back at the camp in the Americas. There was also little to no privacy out there when they were on a mission, so it was nice to finally have a heartfelt chat with Lars behind closed doors.

"What's the matter?" Tougou asked him, taking a seat on one of the chairs so he could relax, Lars had already started to remove his armor, "Upset about our lost soldiers..?"

Lars shook his head, "No...I already had my moment for them on the flight back." He took off his gloves and set them on the table for now, "Just other things..."

The Swede took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and brought his hands up to either side of his neck. He tilted his head back a bit and exhaled heavily, "...So what does this make me, Tougou? Your lover?" After weeks he had finally said it, like the word _lover _didn't want to fall off his tongue any sooner.

"Well, would you like to be?" As if the Swede hadn't already answered with the amount of kisses they had given each other.

"Friends with benefits..." Lars tried to say with the most serious face he could muster. Tougou got up from his seat to approach him in disbelief as a result.

"What? That's what you th-"

"No! No! I'm just joking." Lars chuckled, "I would like to be..."

Tougou let out a sigh of relief, and hugged him tightly, squeezing the life out of him, "You better be! Damn, especially after yesterday!"

Lars brought his arms around the other man as well, his features settling some, "Look...Tougou," he began, shifting himself enough in Tougou's embrace so that he could look at him, "I'm sorry I was so slow accepting this, this is actually really nice...Being with you I mean."

The Japanese man kissed the Swede on the forehead as his response, feeling the soft blond fringe under the caress. He watched as Lars' full lips pulled into a small smile; Tougou wanted him to smile more, it was an expression he favored greatly on the Swede.

"You know I've always liked you as a friend, and I guess now I'm starting to realize that I...ah..." Lars rubbed his neck bashfully when he started to drag his words along, admitting his feelings was not something he was good at, especially not to another guy.

Tougou snickered, his hand reached up to cup Lars' cheek and lift his gaze up a tad to look at him, "That you love me?"

"...Yeah..." It took Lars a while to say it, but it was out, "I don't know what I'd do without you...I definitely wouldn't have been able to carry this rebellion out on my own, and I'd probably still be keeping everything up inside. I don't think you realize how important you are to me."

He bowed his head, like he was ashamed for giving Tougou the run around for so long, "I don't think anyone else would have stood at my side through all this. If that isn't trust and commitment I don't know what is."

Tougou understood, "Looks like we're getting somewhere." Admitting feelings was one thing, living up to them was another. He noticed that Lars was touching a spot on his back, after looking over his shoulder he noticed the bruise that had formed there, probably from falling on that rock.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked and Lars nodded his head to answer him.

"Not enough to bug me, I just wanted to see if it was still there..." He let his arm fall to his side again, "I'm going to get myself cleaned up, then maybe we can go somewhere..? I just want to be away from a military base for once."

"Sure, that sounds good to me." Tougou couldn't agree more, sometimes these barren walls got to you and fresh air was nice.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about too, just not here..."

Tougou couldn't think of anything Lars wouldn't want to share within earshot of the other soldiers. The thought of what it could be made him nervous, yet excited at the same time. Maybe now Lars trusted him enough to tell him that secret he hiding...


	4. Chapter 4: Come to an End

Chapter 4: Come to an End

"You just remember that you told me you'd loosen up tonight alright? It's not like we're on base anymore."

Lars was usually a lot more laid back, but ever since this relationship had started between the two men, Tougou understood why his demeanor had swung more to defensive. He figured that since all of this was outside of his comfort zone, or general knowledge at least, that he had been taking baby steps.

The two had decided to spend the day just exploring the city, visiting places they've never really had the time or chance to. Lars thought it would be amusing to see how much wasabi they could eat without taking a sip from their drinks at one stop; while the meal itself was good, the spice saturated counterpart left the two soldiers red faced and coughing by the end of it.

The activities during the day kept the two in good spirits, just enjoying each other's presence without having to worry about giving orders or fighting the enemy. It was a reminder that despite the war going on around them, they were still able to pick out the good nights and just cherish being alive. The moments were even more valuable knowing that they were being spent with someone who held a special place in their heart.

By the time night had rolled around, they made their final stop at the bar not too far from their hotel. Tougou couldn't remember the last time he had even taken Lars out for a drink, why not end the day with a few victory drinks?

Considering the part of the city that they were staying in, the bar was fairly high classed with a traditional Japanese touch. It was more a place where the sophisticated folk would come to unwind, have a drink, or meet a lucky lady. From where Lars and Tougou were sitting, they couldn't see any seedy looking characters anywhere, if anything they were probably the most underdressed there.

They didn't think much of it though, they were just there to relax and have a nice chat anyway, who cared about the people around them?

After having ordered a round of drinks, Tougou pivoted himself on his chair, turning to Lars. The other's features had been content and carefree the entire day, but now for some reason they had grown with worry—resentment even. His hand passed back and forth over the umber colored bar counter in unease, clearly thinking something over.

"That has to be the most intense thinking face I've seen in a while." Tougou pointed out, breaking Lars' concentration.

"I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to tell you this." The Swede replied with a sigh. _This_ as in that secret he had been babbling about the night before he hoped.

Their drinks had been served during their conversation, and Tougou hoped that maybe a spot of alcohol would make it easier to get out what ever Lars had to say, or at least relax him enough to.

"You have all night you know, don't let what ever's on your mind ruin our night." Tougou smiled wide, holding his glass out to his companion.

Lars nodded in agreement; why let such thoughts ruin a good night? They didn't get the opportunity to be this casual very often.

"To not getting ourselves killed? Another victory?" Tougou chuckled. Foolish cheers of course.

"How about to years of friendship and a new beginning?" Lars rose a brow, cocking his glass some while he waited for Tougou to connect his own.

"Cheers to that!" And with a clink of the two glasses, the men down their contents.

Tougou rotated his cup in his hand, watching the ice cube slide from one end to another in what ever liquid remained in the glass, "I remember a few years back the guys would hold challenges to see who could hold back the most liquor. Whoever lost usually ended up being cannon fodder in the next mission. A lot of them didn't make it back you know..."

His dark eyes shifted over to Lars, catching the engrossed expression on his face as he processed what was said.

"Shame they had to sacrifice skilled soldiers because of their low alcohol tolerance..." He muttered. Tougou was good with his ear and managed to pick up on what the Swede was implying.

"And good thing you didn't participate in those," Tougou nudged him, "You've never really been much of a drinker yourself. You can't keep up."

"Pssh," Lars set his glass back on the counter, "Are you planning to use me as cannon fodder too then by the end of the night?"

"You get as long as you can stay on your stool." A smirk crossed Tougou's lips as he ordered another round of drinks, "You don't know what you're up against though."

The barkeep brought the bottle back over and refilled their glasses. Tougou downed his second with ease, feeling it sting refreshingly in the back of his throat before glancing over to see how his company was holding up. Lars preferred to enjoy his drink slowly rather than in a single swing, so far he was keeping up. Tougou ordered them their third round, eventually their fourth, and by the fifth he noticed Lars had slunk considerably.

"I...I think I'm good." Lars set down the half finished drink back on the counter, waving his hand for the barkeep to take it away. Tougou gave a chuckle and pat the other man on the back hard in triumph, "And what did I tell you? Can't hold your liquor?"

"Alright you won fair and square..." Lars got off his stool, with Tougou quickly setting a hand on his shoulder when he saw him stepping high.

"Yeah...You're definitely done for tonight," He found it hilarious seeing Lars like this, "Will you make it to the hotel in one piece?"

"Mhmm..." Came Lars' answer with a relaxed nod.

Tougou paid and left the counter as well, being sure to stay close to Lars while they made their way out of the bar, their hotel just a block down.

"It's much better to go for walks during the night, where the air is cooler and there's less going on around you..." Lars said out of the blue. Tougou had to agree with him though; compared to how busy it was during the daytime, night was a welcome change.

Tougou noticed that the Swede was holding onto his right arm rather tightly; he wasn't sure if it was because of his faulty balance or if the alcohol had just made him clingy. Either way he let him stick to him like a leech until they made it back up to their hotel room, where he could just have him lay in bed and not go anywhere.

"Tougou." Lars began to speak again, and the aforementioned man prepared himself for more aimless talk.

"Yeah?"

"What do you really think of Jin...And the rest of the Mishimas anyway..?"

A question that was completely irrelevant to the night, but he answered anyway...

"I think they've let the power get to their heads. When you let power dictate your actions and your ambitions, you eventually become an evil person. I mean...Kazuya sold his soul to the Devil didn't he? From what I've heard about Jin he used to be a good kid...and don't get me started on Heihachi. That guy is just..." He fumbled with the right word, "...Isn't even infected with that devil shit and he's still just as wicked."

Lars' head tilted down so that he could look at the floor instead. Tougou could have sworn he heard him make a sound, like he was offended by what he had just said or something. Though his buddy was doped up on the earlier drinks, and he himself had gotten a bit of a buzz, how was he to tell?

"How on earth do they all end up that way though? All power hungry and manipulative...Cold-hearted bastards. They start out a certain way and end up all the same, living to watch the world burn. Must be hereditary." Tougou babbled, unaware that Lars' head had lifted up in a snap so that he could stare upon him in disbelief.

He had released his hold on Tougou's arm, having decided that he was more than stable enough to progress on his own, despite the occasional scuff in his step.

"Hey, you sure you-"

"No, I'm fine." Lars interjected, a frown etched on his features.

"Anyway...Why the question? I mean how often do you even ponder about the family of the guy we're trying to stop?" Tougou's compassion was clearly absent tonight, "Does it surprise you that he's waged a war on the world? Cause it sure as hell doesn't surprise me...To be expected even!"

This whole war thing was definitely something he'd see Kazuya do, or Heihachi. Maybe not with the same methods, but world domination was definitely on their bucket list, why not be on Jin's while he was at it?

Having made it up to their hotel room, Lars spun on his heels in front of the door so that he was facing Tougou, "You should have become a doctor or something respectable like your old man...Because that's where you come from right? A family of respectable people?"

Lars had his back leaned up against the wood, keeping himself balanced while he went off into a tirade.

"How did _you_ end up being a soldier? You think your mother and father are proud to say that their son kills for a living?"

Tougou's eyebrows rose high in concern, "Hey hey now, where did that come from?" That definitely wasn't just the alcohol talking. What he had said must have angered Lars one way or another, "What do you even mean by that?"

"Why didn't you decide to become a doctor, and save lives rather than take them?" Lars took a step closer, continuing to spit venom.

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? This is crazy!" Tougou was thoroughly confused at this point, "What does me being a doctor instead of a soldier have to do with anything?"

"You just told me that the Mishimas being power hungry cold-hearted bastards is hereditary!"

"Yeah? So what?" Tougou shrugged, "What does that have to do with you and I? I don't even understand why you're so angry right now."

"So what?" Lars repeated the two words, his face flushed in rage. Without another word he opened the hotel room door and went inside, not even bothering to wait for Tougou to catch up. Baffled, the Lieutenant followed him inside, being sure to close the door behind him.

"Okay you know what?" Tougou was surprisingly calm through all this, though he wasn't one to get worked up so easily under the influence of alcohol, "Why don't you explain to me why you're so angry and I'll apologize for it. Sounds fair?"

Lars didn't seem to be listening to a word Tougou had said, he was too busy raging at the other end of the room, already prying at his clothing so he could go shower, "I knew this was a mistake. One huge goddamn mistake!"

Tougou weaved between the furniture to get over to Lars and took his wrist to turn him, "Lars, you are drunk as hell."

Lars tore his arm from his grasp, "It's not the drinks!" He retorted.

"You had four, maybe five drinks I'm sure back at the bar. I classify your behavior as alcohol induced anger." Tougou was technically still in the right mind. He felt that if he remained calm that maybe Lars would cool off too.

He brought a hand up to Lars' cheek, stroking the soft skin underneath his palm with his thumb, "What ever I said that's got you so worked up, I apologize for. You promised you'd loosen up tonight remember? No need to be so angry." Tougou gave him a goofy smile and leaned in for an apologetic kiss, but ended up nearly running his head into the wall when Lars gave him the cold shoulder and went into the bathroom instead. Tougou winced after the door had been slammed.

"Great...Don't tell me he's developed some sort of sympathy for that family..." He muttered to himself.


	5. Chapter 5: Through Rose Colored Glasses

Chapter 5: Through Rose Colored Glasses

**A/N: Changed the rating and the story summary so that it meshed better. The story was originally planned to be rated M anyway, so it is now! Also, thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, I greatly appreciate the feedback. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!  
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Lars huffed as he washed away the last of the suds. Maybe it was because it came from Tougou's mouth...

That had to be it. There was nobody else on this planet that he sought approval from, just that one man waiting behind the bathroom door.

He was so pissed off about it too, and his alcohol induced mind wasn't helping. He thought it was supposed to help relax and calm him, then again there was the judgement problem too, meaning it really was just a double edged sword.

Lars sighed heavily as he brought his hands up to his drenched hair, running his fingers through the blonde locks. The water from the shower was helping him calm down from the incident earlier, though his heart rate suddenly spiked, gasping in surprise when a set of arms came around him.

"It's fine, it's just me..." Tougou grinned toothily at the Swede's startled reaction. He was so lost in his own thoughts, and the water jets hitting the tiles had muted the other man's movements.

Lars growled in protest, "You can't give me five minutes?"

"If I get you angry, that means I screwed up bad. I wanted to apologize properly." Tougou held the Captain's body closer to his, his back practically molding to his chest, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you in anyway."

Lars closed his eyes, exhaling evenly through his nostrils. Tougou was always sincere with his apologies, and the Swede found it hard to stay mad at him...Despite what he had said. He was still hurt by the cruel words and assumptions, but he had it in his heart to forgive the other man. He didn't know much of his past after all...

"...It's alright. I forgive you." Lars spoke up, reaching over to pat the top of the hand draped along his chest. If it were any other man, Lars would have shoved him out of the shower and covered himself up by now. Being in the army meant communal showers, and communal showers meant seeing each other naked. Lars really didn't mind sharing the shower with Tougou, especially now that they were in a relationship. That and it was actually nice having him there.

"What got you so upset anyway? I mean...Why did my comment about the Mishimas affect you so deeply?" Tougou just held the Swede for a moment, this made Lars glad that he had already washed up in the shower, since having the other man clinging to him didn't make it easy to move around anyway.

After everything Tougou had said, Lars wasn't sure if he was so ready to tell him tonight. The bruise on Lars' back was graced with delicate kisses; it didn't hurt anymore, but the discolored flesh was still unsightly. Not that he wasn't used to having such injuries on his body, he had scars on his face after all and so did Tougou. Lars shifted to run his fingertips along the side of Tougou's head, tracing the long, sharp wound that had been inflicted on him so many years ago.

Figuring it was safe to touch without Lars snapping at him now, Tougou allowed his hands to wander the Swede's flesh, fondling the inclines and crevices of his muscles. Lars hummed contently and had tilted his head some get give Tougou's hairline a kiss.

"Alcohol always makes you so touchy-feely?" Lars teased, enjoying Tougou's touch.

"How often do I get to shower with a good-looking guy? Of course I'm going to touch you..." Was Tougou's retort, his ministrations proceeding down Lars' hips and thighs now.

Lars was a lot more laid back thanks to the drinks, _loosened up_ as Tougou put it. He felt bold enough to turn around to face his Japanese lover and pull him forth into a kiss. He couldn't help but smile into it as Tougou gently nibbled and tugged on his bottom lip.

He pulled away from the kiss momentarily, "What's this? Aren't you supposed to be the submissive one?" Tougou snickered, and Lars pulled a face in disagreement.

"When was that decided?" The other man had moved forward, forcing Lars' naked back up against the cool tiles. The stone brought about a shiver to his skin, though Tougou's body served to warm him back up. He had gotten in close, Tougou's broad chest rubbed up against his while his lips took to the Swede's neck, his hands now grabbing his rear. Lars' heart started to beat wildly in his chest and his breath hitched, feeling Tougou grind a rather excited groin into his. Tougou claimed his lips in another heated kiss, with Lars moaning into it, his fingertips digging deep in Tougou's biceps.

While he was enjoying the contact a lot more than he should have, he remembered how late at night it was now and they had work the next day, hung over or not.

"I...I think we should turn in for the night." Lars stammered.

The water had gone tepid, Lars panted and reached over to shut off the shower after Tougou had finally let him go, not liking the cold water much himself.

"I'm glad you forgive me." Tougou smiled widely, he seemed to be completely oblivious to his own arousal, Lars' eyes continued to dart down occasionally and the other man didn't notice. Needless to say, he liked what he was seeing, though his gaze wavered once Tougou made a move for the rack.

He took a towel for Lars to dry off with and was already rubbing the water out of the Swede's hair. The younger man chuckled lightheartedly.

"You look good with your hair down you know." Tougou snuck in a kiss while the cloth was still covering Lars' hair and eyes, "But you prefer wild."

Lars lifted the towel off, he flashed Tougou a smirk and shoved it into his hands, "And you prefer simple, crew cut almost..!"

"Hmm...well if I preferred simple, I wouldn't be with you now would I?" Tougou beamed wide. He stepped out of the shower as well, following the Swede back out into the main room to get themselves dressed. Just because they were done with the shower didn't mean Tougou had to stop admiring the view though; seeing someone with a body like Lars' nude was a sight to behold. The intoxicating substance was putting all sorts of thoughts into his head.

Lars brought both of his hands up to his damp hair, his eyes closed, and his fingers combing through the locks slowly. What a night, the alcohol certainly made it interesting too. He didn't drink very often and this was probably the most he's had in a while. If it wasn't with Tougou his lips probably would have never touched the rim of that glass. What had happened in the shower stirred a part of him, one that he had been hiding away for the longest time. He found himself craving more of it, wanting to have progressed more than just kisses and touches. Time was against them tonight however, so Lars had been forced to restrain himself. That and he didn't think it would be such a good idea for them to be doing anything so physical while they were under the influence of alcohol.

After both men had dried off and clothed themselves, Lars got himself comfortable in the bed, choosing to lay at the right edge of it while Tougou took the left. He didn't mind sharing the bed, they were at a hotel after all, and not back at base. He had left more than enough room for Tougou to sneak in to nestle himself beside him. A pair of strong arms came around the Swede, to hold him in close in an embrace. A light kiss came to Lars' shoulder, and Tougou's voice muttered out in a whisper, "Lars...Come on...It's killing me knowing I upset you. Can you at least tell me why?"

Although reluctant, Lars felt bad now, and his fingers slowly made their way to rest on Tougou's forearm, "There's a reason why I asked you what you thought of the Mishimas."

"Go on..?" Tougou sat up a bit in interest.

Lars heaved a sigh, closing his eyes as he continued to explain, "I don't care about what other people say or think about me. It's just...hearing you say that, say such awful things about them. It felt like you were saying that about me."

"...Lars?"

"Just listen..." Lars continued, "That secret I said I would tell you about...And you gave me all night to tell you. It's about my father."

He finally turned over on the mattress so that he was face to face with Tougou. Although the lights were off, he could clearly see just how distressed Lars was about all this.

"That time I told you I had to speak with Heihachi when I had the chance, just before the operation in South America started. It wasn't to get information about Jin...or an alliance or anything like that..." There was a significant pause and Lars found himself contemplating whether or not he should go on speaking, "I wanted to speak with him, because he doesn't know I'm his son."

Tougou had no idea that his eyes could grow so wide. He was beyond amazed, beyond baffled and even shocked. For a time he had no idea how to even respond to what he had just learned.

"Lars, a-are you...serious right now? Please tell me it's the alcohol speaking?"

Lars held his breath, felt his heart skip a beat and his blood run cold. Apprehensive was putting how he felt lightly. The first person he had told and things were already going downhill...Nonetheless he still had to make himself clear.

"Do I look like I'm lying to you? I was angry because I didn't appreciate you saying cold-heartedness and the evil associated with it is hereditary."

"So you'reeee...What?" Tougou's forehead wrinkled, "This is...My god I don't even have words for this right now."

Not good. Those two words were repeating in his head over and over again, Tougou wasn't going to leave him was he?

"T-Tougou...I..." Lars was having trouble forming words himself, "This is why I said this is a mistake. I shouldn't even be here right now."

"Lars, I said I had no words...I didn't say this was a mistake." Tougou pat Lars' chest with the back of his hand, "I don't care if you're a Mishima or if you're purple, Lars. Okay? I was just a little shocked by the revelation. You're the same person before you told me this and you're still the same after, you hear me? This explains a lot about you, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. We've come too far for me to just drop you because you happen to have a crazy gene pool, that would be such a waste. Besides, you being all...Well Mishima...Kinda adds a little spice to the relationship wouldn't you say?"

Lars chuckled at the last bit and shook his head, "I'm glad you feel that way. All this is really messed up I know, it still is to me to this day but...I don't know. Life is like that I suppose, full of surprises." He was relieved that Tougou was so accepting, for a moment there he thought he was going to lose one of his closest friends.

Tougou ruffled the Swede's hair with a smile, earning another laugh from the other man, "Hey, you're my best friend and lover now, I'm not just going to give up on you because you're different..."

"Thanks Tougou, it means a lot." Lars kissed his lips in appreciation, a distinct hint of their earlier drinks was still present on them.

"You were the oddball when you were drafted, and despite you kicking my ass in everything we did in training, I was drawn to you." The Japanese man's fingers caressed and coursed through Lars' golden locks, "Hell, I was glad we became friends, but then I waited so long...Just feeling out your personality to see if, well..!"

"I was attracted to you?"

Tougou smirked with a nod, "I can't just assume you like guys."

Lars gave him one last smile, "Okay...I think we should get some sleep now. I guarantee we won't be feeling all that great in the morning. At least sleep in before work." He leaned forward for a goodnight kiss.

"Lars..."

"Yes?" He paused.

Tougou kissed him and nuzzled the edge of his brow, "I love you."

"I love you too..." Lars' lips pulled into a warm and sincere smile, "Thank you."


End file.
